East Gippsland Gospel

I know that regular interaction with God and His Word are fruitful for Spiritual growth and well-being.

I have always struggled to have a formal ‘Quiet Time’. I will nod-off, get distracted, be in too much pain to sit at a table, or a multitude of other reasons.

I have never read through the Bible on a reading plan, but I have read all of the Bible.

This year I started a reading plan, determined to succeed. I made it through the Pentateuch and into the historical narrative. I was doing well.

Then I didn’t.

For one reason or another I ended up being three weeks behind.

The reason for writing this is not to ‘confess my sin’.

I’m writing to comment on my thoughts and feelings about being three weeks behind.

I know I’m saved by grace and not by works.

I know that works don’t endear me to God; I’m loved because I’m a son.

Never-the-less, I felt guilty for ‘falling behind’.

Our old nature is so wired to ‘reward-for-good-works’.

I have forty years of knowing God’s grace when I stumble or fall, but I still expect a ‘frown on His face’ because I’ve fallen behind in my Bible reading plan.

Then when I do read, I sometimes feel guilty for reading ahead, having been absorbed in the text. ‘I must stick to the plan’ … as if it’s authorative. How much does Law still grasp at my ankles to trip me up?

I don’t think that (before glorification) I will cease in the struggle between striving to conquer sin, and resting in grace; of knowing which battles to fight and which are already won.

I doubt that I am alone in this.